Dearest little Susannah,
Today I am writing you a farewell to nursing letter. We have nursed now for about 2.5 years, give or take. Every time I thought we were done, you would surprise me by asking for it again. Well, now you don't know how to nurse anymore, so when you ask I might oblige, but I can see you are no longer needing it, but do enjoy pretending to be baby as you call it.
I have so many highlights to our nursing relationship that I would like to expound on...so lets start from the beginning. Nursing you from the start was wholly different than my other experiences. You, like your siblings still had a tied tongue, but this time, you had a nursing partner! Your big sister was there to show you the ropes. That first nursng experience was so much better than my other experiences because it was the first time nursing didn't hurt at first. Even though your tongue was tied, becasue my nipples was very stretchy from nursing your big sis, I was able to easily get you latched deeply from the getgo! I thanked God everyday for His blessing in that. My milk came in a lot faster with you than it did with my other children too. I guess the extra nursing partner and all the time at the breast latching correctly really helped. I still didn't have mountains of milk, but I had enough praise God!
Of course you got sick when you were just two weeks old. We all got the flu, and you got it too. I have never been so glad we breastfed until that moment. I took you to the hospital where you tested positive, but they said since you were not showing a temperature over 99, I could go home. Apparantly, according to your pediatrician, its standard to admit a baby of your age if they test positive for flu because it can be fatal. She told me my breastmilk saved you because of the immunities. Our God is so amazing to provide us with something so miraculous. I thanked Him again for this awesome priviledge to nurse you.
Over time, you and your big sister enjoyed nursing together. I know there were times I had a tiny newborn suckling away staying in a contented position clow to my chest while experiencing the toddler phenomenon of acrobatic nursing. Nothing like a toddler upside down over your shoulder tryin to nurse while your newborn is in the sling. Something I never thought I would do, but, well, we did.Finally your big sister weaned ten months later, but of course you showed no interest inweaning, and neither did I. So we plowed forward on.
You were different from my other nurslings in that nursing was simply not your only comfort. While you enjoyed it for comfort a little, you enjoyed your daddy more. he was your cuddle friend, the one you always slept hugged right next to. At night when I would nurse you, he would take you gentl to his side and hold you to his heart so your breathing would be steady, your heartrate sound and your soul calmed and full of peace. It was a beautiful time.
By around 15 months you had nightweaned. It helped us all sleep a little better. Although you never were a big concern at night because you would just latch yourself right back on if you needed it. Now you are only nursing a few times a day, maybe 3-4 times with the occasional "oops I hurt myself, I need to nursie" or "I am angry, need to nursie". It helped to calm your tears, your fears, gave you oads of cheers for sure. And it made me smile too.
Finally as your nusing time came to an end, I could tell you and I both were tired of the strain. At this point I was beginnin to get frustrated nursing you sometimes. I had been nursing for 4.5 years give or take, and momma was ready to be left alone. But, I wanted to let you call the shots for the most part,so I only gently encouraged other things. If you really needed me though, we would nurse. I realized that time came more and more infrequently though. Til, one day you pretty much stopped asking. i knew it was done when you latched on and simply left it in your mouth, looking a bit confused as to what to do next. I told you milk was all gone(which it was lol) and you said,"ok." I told you it had been a long time since you nursed so you didn't remember how to do it. Again, you said something along the lines of "I no member mommy? ok." It was bittersweet, but freeing for me too!
So, I say farewell to our beautiful time together. I think back now with joy over all the places we nursed together. Churches, playgrounds, houses, with friends, visting family, on hikes, shopping, at the fair, youname it girl, we did it. You made me unashamed of my body but taught me it was ok to have modesty too. You taught me to be patient with you and myself. You taught me more about what it means to love God, by loving you and meeting your needs. I thank you for sharing this time with me. It was beautiful, it was sweet, it was hard, it was full of adversity at times, but more than anything, it was worth it.